


Sick Romance

by gothciel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: BroCon, Dry Humping, Incest, M/M, Smut, gon and killua are besties, illumi is in denial, thigh riding, tsundere Killua
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28215582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothciel/pseuds/gothciel
Summary: Its Zeno’s 70th birthday, and the Zoldyck family decides to throw a banquet. When Killua is invited, he agrees to stay at the manor for a week. When he gets drunk and forces himself onto Illumi, something blossoms between the two that is deeply sick and twisted.
Relationships: Illumi Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Illumi Zoldyck/Killua Zoldyck, Killua Zoldyck & Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	Sick Romance

The Zoldyck family was a family of pride. They were a family of high status. Infamously, they were a family that valued work above all things and hardly took interest in any means of entertainment. For this reason, silly events such as family banquets or parties were simply out of the question. However, this year it was Zeno Zoldyck’s 70th birthday -- and the old man longed for something new. He longed for something fresh -- something exciting to mark his 70th year on the poor excuse of a planet that Earth was. So the Zoldycks (To Kikyo’s dismay...she was a woman of tradition, mind you!) decided to spice things up a bit, per say. To celebrate. To throw a birthday banquet — after lots of convincing towards the strict mother Kikyo was, of course.

‘’Ah, welcome.’’ Silva Zoldyck greeted once the butlers opened the Zoldyck mansion’s wide doors. His voice was low and it rumbled with a power that could intimidate just about anyone who heard it. 

Killua stood at the door, pink lips turned into a frown. A small red suitcase sat at his side, decorated with dozens of stickers of colorful, glittery animals. One could just tell Gon had stuck them on against Killua’s will. The worn stickers were torn with an eagerness and large nail markings creased the outline of the vivid, glittery print. Killua’s bright white hair contrasted the bright red of the suitcase, and almost gleamed in the dimness of the manor’s lighting. His back was slouched and he had his hands lazily dug in the warmth of his pockets. The young boy had a slender build and snow white skin, and if Silva hadn’t known any better he would have thought his son was a sickly child. 

Killua lifted his chin up to his father, and rolled his eyes in reply to his greeting. After all, it’s not like Killua wanted to be here. No…certainly not! The young boy’s relationship with his family was… well… complicated to say the least. Killua recalled the letter he had received from his grandfather only a few days before.

—-

‘’Killua!’’ Gon had yelled, an envelope in his hand. Killua had looked up from the manga he’d been reading with an irritated expression.

‘’What?’’ He groaned. Gon slid the envelope across the table towards the annoyed transmuter, and if he had slid it any harder, the friction might have caused a fire.

‘’It’s for you!” He stated, eyes glinting in that same curiosity he somehow always had. Killua scanned over the boy for a moment. How was it that Gon was always so excited about new things?

He sighed, slipping the envelope from the table and into the safety of his hand. He gently opened it up, being careful as to not rip the curious paper that lay hidden inside. Once he opened it, he slipped the letter from its cave and placed it into the safety of his hands. Dropping the envelope onto the table, Killua squinted his eyes at the cursive writing engraved into the lined paper.

His eyes widened.

‘’Killua?’’ Gon voiced, tilting his head to the side and sitting up in his chair. ‘’Who’s it from?’’ He queried, watching Killua closely. His little mouth hung open, and his eyes were big and curious as ever.

The young Zoldyck gulped.

‘’It’s uh…’’ He hesitated, unsure of what to feel. A letter? From his family? He never received letters from the dreaded band of assassins. Of course Kikyo never failed to send a birthday card once a year, and Illumi occasionally sent a letter asking why Killua had blocked his number (he always discarded his brother’s neatly written letters, by the way.), but never had he received a letter such as this.

‘’It’s from grandpa.’’

\---

‘’Oh, Killua!’’ Kikyo gasped, running over to the boy and throwing her arms around his small frame. Killua sneered, shoulders shrugged up as he desperately tried to escape from his mothers’ arms. ‘’Oh, how I’ve missed my little assassin!’’ She cried, voice cracking and bouncing off the walls of the entrance hall like a rabbit trying to escape a bear in an enclosed space.

“Kikyo.” Silva spoke, causing the woman to tense around Killua’s body. “You can let him go now.” He suggested, arms crossed as he looked down at Killua with a small smile. Kikyo reacted to this with a frown, unwrapping her arms from her precious son and readjusting her now scrunched-up dress.

“I’m just so glad my little killer is finally back home!” She cooed, pinching her favorite son’s cheek. Killua furrowed his eyebrows and quickly moved his face away from his mother’s reach. Silva chuckled at the interaction.

“It's good to have you back, Killua.” He insisted, patting the small boy on the shoulder approvingly. Killua dug his hands further in his pockets, eyes set elsewhere and lips formed in a pout.

He absolutely did not want to show today. In fact, if it wasn’t for Gon’s constant pestering, he wouldn’t have come at all! Gon just absolutely insisted that Killua should go, and God knows Killua can’t say no to Gon. 

—

“You have to go, Killua!” Gon had yelled, hands clapped together as he leaned in close to his best friend’s face. Killua had rolled his eyes at this. “You never know! Your grandpa could die tomorrow, you know! He’s old! You’ll really regret it if you don’t go!”

Killua kept his lips in a pout and his arms crossed at these words. Usually he wouldn’t regret not seeing his family— but all that aside, Gon was right. This was Killua’s grandpa. There was no telling if he would die soon or not! Plus, Killua was Zeno’s favorite grandchild— and Killua knew this. Zeno had always spoiled the boy growing up. And so, despite his undying, burning hatred for his family— maybe seeing them once more wouldn’t be so bad. Especially if it was something like a party.

He sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Fine. I’ll go, okay?”

Gon had grinned at this, and he took Killua’s pale hands into his contrasting tan ones.

“I’m so glad!” He laughed. Killua had felt his cheeks warm at this, and he shrugged it off.

—

Killua was almost surprised when Zeno emerged from the shadows, hands crossed behind his back as he looked down at Killua with his thin lips turned in a wrinkled smile. Killua’s eyes slightly widened, and he subconsciously straightened his posture out.

Killua always had a sort of respect for his grandfather, and Zeno was always happy to see him. He was the favorite, after all.

“So you showed up after all.” He said. His voice was aged and raspy— that same old voice Killua had been hearing since he was only a small child. Now that Killua thought about it— was Zeno ever young? For as long as he could remember, the man had been old. Wrinkled and grey.

Alas, Killua shrugged at the old man’s words.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” He mumbled, looking down and avoiding eye contact at all costs. It had been quite some time since Killua visited the Zoldyck family, so you can’t blame the kid for being a little awkward. It was only natural!

“We’re glad to have you.” Zeno assured, and Killua shrugged. He would’ve said something polite and cheesy like “And I’m glad to be here.” but he figured that was too nice. His family didn’t deserve his kindness, and the former assassin acknowledged this.

“Your brothers have missed you, Killua.” Kikyo chirped, hands clapped together. Killua’s heart could’ve dropped at the words.

Of course Killua expected his brothers to be here. Why wouldn’t he? But the fact he was here now and in the moment— the fact finally hit him. He was going to see his brothers. He was going to see Illumi.

Killua scanned his eyes around the manor’s entrance hall, not a single brother in sight. He looked up at his father expectantly, face filled with questions and the elder man acknowledged this almost immediately.

“Illumi and Kalluto are out training at the moment, and Milluki is huddled up in his bedroom.” Silva explained, his sentence punctuated with a sigh. Killua could’ve shivered at the sound of his eldest brother’s name. 

Illumi. The eldest of the Zoldyck brothers, and in Killua’s opinion, the most frightening. Illumi was an excellent assassin with training methods that could chill even the bravest hunters down to the bone.

“You must be tired from the journey.” Zeno hummed.

“Canary.” Silva spoke. “See Killua up to his room so that he can put his things up and freshen up for dinner.” The head of the Zoldyck family commanded, earning an approving nod from the small butler. Killua’s eyes shot over to the girl, who looked back at him with a small smile.

“If you’re going to be staying here for a few days, you should get comfortable.” Killua’s father stated, and Killua could’ve groaned at the words. Right. He would have to be there for days. 

Canary took the boy’s suitcase and began leading the way, and Killua walked closely behind as his parents watched and Zeno slightly smirked.

The trip was silent for the most part, Killua’s thoughts echoing throughout his mind and he couldn’t help but wonder just how things were supposed to go here. So he ran away from home and everyone was just okay with it?

“If you don’t mind me asking, Master Killua, where is your friend?” Canary broke the silence with a question, her back facing Killua as she continued to guide him to his bedroom. Killua crossed his hands behind his head lazily as he followed close behind.

“Home.” He replied, voice bored. “I don’t trust this place enough to bring him here.” He explained, and Canary hummed.

“I can’t say I blame you.” She sighed, tucking a single strand of hair behind her ear as Killua’s eyes roamed the picture frames sealed onto the manor’s hallways. There were so many photographs of previous heads of the family, and several family portraits. It had been so long since Killua was home that it all almost felt new to the boy.

“Ah, and here we are.” Canary concluded, coming to a halt at a single wooden door. She placed the small suitcase next to the door and Killua hummed in response, removing his arms from the back of his hand and crossing them over his chest. Canary’s eyes landed on the worn out stickers, and she looked up at Killua expectantly. The young master blushed at this, looking away. Gon was such a child, and he knew his young butler knew this.

“We cleaned it up a bit for you.” She said, clearing her throat.

“Thanks.” Killua bid. The butler nodded.

“The other butlers are preparing dinner at the moment, so it should be ready in about an hour.” She informed. “I’ll see myself out now, then.” She commented, about to make her way out when Killua grasped her wrist. Her eyes widened at the touch, and she looked back at the young boy with a risen brow.

“Wait.” He demanded, lips formed into a pout once again. He gulped before speaking, nerves building up in his stomach. “What time is, uh…” He felt his voice almost crack “... when is Illumi coming back?” He interrogated. Canary, almost expectantly, frowned at these words.

“I’m not sure, but master Illumi should be back any minute.” She stated. Killua nodded slowly at this.

“...Okay.” He whispered, and Canary removed her hand from his grasp. She bowed respectfully.

“Now if you don’t mind, Young Master, I must attend to my duties.”

Killua shrugged.

“Whatever, go ahead.” He mumbled. The butler nodded and turned on her heel, making her way down the long hallway and leaving Killua alone in front of his bedroom door. It had been so long since he’d been here — since he’d last seen this old bedroom. He took a deep breath before reaching his hand out and turning the knob slowly. The door creaked to reveal his old childhood bedroom. It had that same old smell of familiarity— hints of old crayons and a bit of sweet vanilla contaminating the air. 

Killua stepped into the room, kicked his suitcase to the corner and collapsed onto his king sized bed, finally feeling the sweet relief of relaxation. He lay there for a while, thoughts flooding through his mind about so many things at once.

He absolutely did not want to be here. If it was anybody else in the family’s birthday, he wouldn’t have even considered showing up at all. In fact, Killua absolutely wouldn't have shown up if it wasn’t for Gon’s constant pestering. Killua sighed to himself at the thought of his best friend. It hadn’t been long at all, yet he missed the overly optimistic boy. It stung a bit to think Gon was going to be alone for the next few days. Killua wondered to himself if the boy would be okay by himself.

Killua practically jumped at the sound of knocking at his door. The snow-haired boy sat up in his bed and his eyes shot to his now opened bedroom door. Illumi stood there, body leaning against the door frame. His arms were crossed as he looked down at his little brother, long silky black hair draped down to his waist and eyes black as ever.

Killua’s heart froze at the sight, body tense and eyes wide.

“A-anaki.” He mumbled, fingers digging into his bedsheets. He quickly shot his eyes away, avoiding eye contact at all costs. 

“Killu.” Illumi spoke, voice soft and soothing yet sinister and terrifying. Killua gulped as Illumi stepped into the boy’s bedroom. “I’ve missed you.” He monotoned. His voice was deadpan and emotionless. 

It was only natural that Killua had no idea what to say. It wasn’t a secret how Killua “disliked” his elder brother. Illumi tilted his head curiously in response to the lack of reply.

“Killu.” He spoke, and Killua felt himself jump a little. The younger boy cleared his throat and composed himself.

“U-um…” The words tripped out Killua’s mouth. “What do you want?” He pouted, eyes avoiding Illumi’s as he looked down at his lap. 

“You know, mother has been upset ever since you—“ 

“Look, I know.” Killua interrupted, eyes now narrowed and clearly annoyed. “I don’t give a fuck.”

Illumi’s usual expressionless face morphed into a disapproving frown.

“I missed you.” The tall male said, voice deep and Killua almost felt his heart sting at the words.

He bit his bottom lip in a stressful manner and his body tensed. Their relationship was complicated. It baffled Killua that the two brothers were close at a point in their lives. 

The young Zoldyck hadn’t even realized what was happening before he felt Illumi standing directly above him, looking down with those huge bug eyes that could give chills to even a ruthless killer. Illumi placed a single hand atop Killua’s soft, fluffy hair, causing the younger to tense once more.

The air felt thin and then a knock at the door allowed Killua to relax.

“Master Illumi, Young Master Killua,” Canary addressed after bowing, “It is dinner time.”

—-

“So, tell us more about your adventures on the outside, Killua.” Silva provoked, digging a fork into the chicken on his plate and placing it into his mouth. Killua sat at the left of the table, twiddling his fork in the meat mindlessly. The boy felt a bit sick, and didn’t have much of an appetite at all.

“Um…” He began, considering his next words. Just what were his father’s intentions behind the questions? “It’s been fun. I like it better than being here.”

Silva hummed at the words, and Kikyo frowned at the reply.

“How is your friend?” Silva interrogated, and Killua shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Illumi sat directly across from him, and Killua could just feel the elder male’s big eyes burning into him. 

“I, uh…” His friend. Gon. “He’s good.” He answered, choosing not to go into too much detail. He had to keep in mind that his family didn’t fancy his different lifestyle much. He could ramble about Gon and their adventures for hours, after all.

The dinner table was awkward, and Killua wanted so badly for this to all be over. The table was silent, the only sound being the noise of Milluki scarfing down his dinner and the clattering of forks against plates.

“You know, Kil…” Kikyo hummed. “You could always stay here again.” She offered, staring at her son intently. Killua tightened the grip onto his fork.

There was absolutely no way he would ever come back.

“Kikyo.” Silva cut in, voice stern, and Kikyo frowned. She ignored her husband’s warning voice and kept on.

“Kil, you know you’re not suited for the outside world!” Kikyo said it so casually, still digging into the salad on her plate nonchalantly and, god, did this piss Killua off.

He kept himself composed for one thing and one thing only: Gon. He’d promised his bestfriend he’d have a good time here, and that meant he wasn’t allowed to cause problems.

Killua’s eyes shot up towards Illumi, who continued to stare. The feeling of his glare was beginning to stress the former assassin out and it really pissed him off.

Killua felt an overwhelming sense of annoyance sink into him. 

“Can you stop looking at me?” He bit, eyebrows furrowed. Illumi’s eyes shot away from the younger’s and he frowned. His face was pale as ever, expression barely shifting.

“Killua! Is that any way to talk to your big brother?” Kikyo scolded, earning a disapproving groan from Killua.

“Well, he wouldn’t stop staring at me.” He mumbled, chewing on a piece of meat.

“I don’t like your attitude, Kil! Illumi is your elder brother. Have some respect!”

Killua tutted.

“Respect? For him? Don’t make me laugh.”

“Oh mama, didn’t you know?” Milluki cut into the argument, mouth half full and crumbs littering his plump cheeks. “Killua only respects that little boyfriend of his.” He teased. Killua’s cheeks warmed at this. Kikyo gasped at the words.

“Milluki!” She screeched, absolutely disgusted with the idea of Gon being Killua’s lover.

“What the hell are you talking about, Piggy?” Killua practically spat the words, pushing his chair out from under him and standing over the table.

Silva let out a deep sigh as Milluki began to open his mouth in protest.

“That’s enough of that.” He interrupted. “Killua, sit down.” 

The white-haired boy looked at his father in disbelief.

“But—“ He tried.

“I said enough.” The head of the Zoldycks said it so sternly, his voice practically rumbling through the dining hall. Killua rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms irritably. The boy was pissed now. 

Right. This is why he hadn’t missed home.

“May we offer you a few beverages?’” One of the butlers insisted, holding a tray of shining bottles of red wine. Silva smiled at this, feeling a bit relieved that the tension in the room had been somewhat broken.

“Ah, of course.” The man allowed, and the butler popped open the cap and poured a glass of wine into Silva’s wine glass. The butler made his way over to Kikyo, pouring in a bit of alcohol in her glass before stopping at Killua.

“Would you like some as well, Young Master?” He asked, and Killua was a bit shocked. He’d never been offered alcohol at home due to his young age. He looked at his father, who nodded in approval.

Killua was stressed, nervous, and missing his best friend. What could the harm be in a little bit of a nice drink to get his mind off things?

“Ah, what the heck? Why not.” He agreed, shrugging. The butler smiled and poured a glass as Killua watched with amazement. Wow. He was only 13 years old and already having his first drink.

Illumi watched the glass intently, and Killua noticed this.

“What?” He grumbled, frowning. Illumi furrowed his brows.

“You shouldn’t be drinking at such a young age.” He scolded. Killua rolled his eyes.

“Oh give me a break!” He groaned. Illumi was entirely too protective of his little brother, and this pissed Killua off to the max. “Watch me.” He challenged, grabbing his shining glass of wine and placing it on his bottom lip. He tilted the glass and allowed the bitter taste of wine to drip onto his tongue. The boy sneered at the taste, placing the glass down and sticking his tongue out in disgust.

“Ah, what the hell!?” He gasped, tongue still sticking out and Illumi shook his head.

“See, Killu?” His expression was unphased. “You’re too young to enjoy such a mature beverage.”

Killua looked up at his brother sitting across from him and stuck his tongue back into his mouth. His stupid brother always had to patronize him in one some kind of way. It felt sadistic, honestly, how much Illumi enjoyed seeing Killua being proven wrong. Killua wasn’t having it. He wasn’t going to let his older brother make him look like an idiot. He wasn’t going to be proven wrong.

Killua locked eyes with his brother, eyes narrowed as he picked his wine glass off the table once again. In Killua’s eyes, Illumi was challenging him. He waved the glass tauntingly before placing it to his lips and taking yet another long sip. Killua tilted his head back further, almost chugging the drink. Illumi’s eyes widened at this, and he leaned over the table and snatched the glass away from the younger boy. Killua gasped at the action, a bit of wine tipping out from the top of the glass and spilling over his chin. A single drop of red wine trickled down his chin.

“What the hell!?” He cried, frowning as Illumi had the wineglass in his hold.

“You’re going to puke chugging it like that.” Illumi explained monotonically, and Killua glared at his elder brother harshly for this.

“I-“

“That’s enough.” Silva interrupted once more, earning the glares of both Illumi and Killua. Killua growled.

“You know what? Whatever. Fine. I’m going to bed now.” He announced, shoving his plate away and standing from his seat.

“But you barely ate anything, Kil—“ Kikyo tried, but the former assassin wasn’t having any of it.

“Not hungry.” He argued before stomping out of the dining hall, wiping a single drop of wine from his chin. There was no way he’d be able to survive another second at the family dinner. Not with his level of irritancy.

—

“Here you go, young master.” Canary whispered, handing Killua a wine bottle. Killua grinned excitedly from behind his slightly cracked open bedroom door as he grabbed the bottle from her hands. He nodded approvingly.

“You’re the best, Canary.” He whispered enthusiastically, earning a soft smile from the young butler girl. “Thank you.”

It was about midnight at this hour, and Killua had requested the butler to sneak him a bottle of wine.

Canary sighed before shrugging.

“Of course.” She said, voice hushed and soft. “Just… Just don’t get too drunk or anything, okay? Your parents would kill me.” She requested, and Killua shook his head.

“Oh, you don’t even have to worry about me.” He insisted, eyes trailing over the back label of the wine bottle. “I mean, I’ve never exactly tried alcohol but… considering all the poison training my body has been through, I doubt I could get drunk off a single bottle.” He stated confidently. Canary rose a brow at this. Sure, it was true Killua had a high tolerance for poison, but in that case— why ask for such a drink?

“If I may ask, Young Master…” She began, head tilted in curiosity. “Why drink the wine if you don’t intend to get drunk?” She questioned.

Killua smirked.

“Easy. To prove my brother wrong.” He grinned, and the girl almost rolled her eyes.

“I see…” She mumbled. Killua hummed.

“Do you wanna join me?” He insisted, holding the bottle out invitingly. The butler considered the offer for a mere moment before shaking her head.

“No, I’d better not.” She rejected in a mumble. “I must attend to my duties as a servant. I’m sure you can understand, Young Master.” She explained. Killua sneered at the title.

“You know, I told you you didn’t have to call me that.” He mumbled, and the young girl smiled.

“Of course... but I am a mere servant, after all.” 

“Killu?” Illumi’s soft voice dripped through the darkness of Killua’s bedroom. He creaked open the wooden door, allowing himself to step in with a full tray in his hands. It held an expensive china plate with a freshly warmed up meal, and an equally expensive china glass of water sat beside it. 

Illumi’s eyes widened at the sight of his little brother sprawled out on the floor, figure almost hidden by the dim lighting but clear enough for the elder brother to make out. “Killu?” He almost gasped the words, and quickly set the tray on the boy’s nightstand before clapping his hands together loudly. The lights switched on in response to the noise, and Illumi looked over the mess of a boy who lay sprawled out on the floor.

“Ohhh...h-hey aniki!” Killua looked up at the tall male, cheeks red and eyelids visibly heavy. “What’re…. what’re ya...d- doin?” He slurred over his words, trying to stand and nonetheless failing miserably. He chuckled at his own failure. “Oh ...oh shit... i’m so… c-clumsy…” He hiccuped, breath pungent with the scent of stolen wine and Illumi frowned. The small boy reeked of alcohol. Killua, without a doubt, was drunk. Illumi took Killua’s hand in his and helped him stand on his feet.

“Killu… what were you thinking?” The assassin sighed. Killua laughed as he was guided to a stance. Illumi held his wrists, gentle and careful.

“Y-yer... hands er so ...soft…” Killua giggled, interlacing his fingers with Illumi’s. “I jus’.... wan…. hold ‘em…” He giggled, and when he tried to stand on his own, he tipped over and fell into Illumi’s chest.

Illumi frowned at this, shaking his head in disapproval. Killua’s face sunk into the taller male’s sculpted chest, listening to the harmony his elder brother’s heart played. He hummed. Illumi crouched down to his knees, face now level with his much smaller brother’s. Big black eyes examined cat-like heavy ones. They were lost of thought, devoid of any worry. Completely and utterly drunk. Killua hiccuped and grinned.

“Are youuuu mad, aniki~?” He practically sang the question. Illumi shook his head, earning a disappointed frown from Killua. “Whaaaaat?” He whined, lips in a pout. He almost fell over again, but Illumi kept him balanced by placing a hand on each shoulder.

“Of course not.” He voiced, looking Killua directly in the eyes. “You’re drunk.”

Killua’s eyes widened.

“Noooooo way~” He hiccuped. “I’veee…. n’ver. b-een drumk b’fore—“ He hiccuped once more. Illumi stood, picking Killua up and carrying him into his arms. He placed Killua on the edge of his bed, sitting him down. Killua’s thin legs hung over the side of the bed, not quite reaching the floor. He wiggled his feet. Illumi knelt in front of him.

“I din’t expect it to feel so….. so gooooood…” He giggled, and Illumi grabbed the glass of water he had placed on the bedside table.

“Just how much did you drink?” Illumi queried. It was surprising, honestly, just how out of it Killua was.

Killua lazily pointed at a spot on the floor, and Illumi’s eyes widened at the sight of a half-empty bottle of wine that had been specially made for the Zoldyck family’s tolerance towards alcohol poisoning. Killua must have somehow sneaked it. Illumi just knew the hangover was going to be hell.

Illumi shook his head in disapproval. He raised the glass of water in hand.

“Open your mouth and drink this.” He commanded. Illumi lifted the glass to the boy’s lips, and Killua drank the cold water like his life depended on it. Killua giggled a bit, and Illumi began to prepare Killua for bed. The best thing he could do was just let the boy sleep it off. He slipped the young boy’s socks and shoes off as the former assassin watched with a wide grin.

“Ouuu…. aniki… what’re ya doin’ down there….” he slurred. Illumi lifted himself up a little higher on his knees, hands making their way underneath Killua’s shirt. He grabbed the soft fabric, gently lifting it over Killua’s head and revealing the boy’s pale chest. Killua blushed deeply at this. “W-woaaaah…. i….know what this is….” He giggled the words, looking up at his big brother with big, devious eyes. Illumi blinked. “Yer….. trying to… take advantage of me, right? M’cuz I’m—“ A hiccup split the sentence into two. “I’m drunk!” 

Illumi didn’t feel his cheeks warm. He didn’t.

“You’re misunderstanding, Killu.” He claimed, voice soft as ever as Killua hummed in reply.

“Ooooo aniki likes me~” 

“Come now, Killu. It’s time for bed.” 

Killua leaned in closer to his big brother, throwing his arms around the older male’s neck. He threw himself back, bringing Illumi down with him. Illumi propped himself up over Killua, eyes wide as Killua looked at him with an eagerness in his cat-like eyes.

“Killu…” Illumi gulped. Killua smirked.

“What? D’nt you like me, aniki? Les’ cuddle… like the old times….”

That’s right…. the old times. The times when Illumi and his beloved Killu were close brothers. Before this Gon boy came into the picture. When Killua was all his.

“We can’t.” Illumi rejected. 

Killua frowned at the words. Damn, was Illumi’s little brother pretty. His eyes were big and a bright, oh-so innocent blue—- so blue, in fact, that Illumi could’ve sworn he saw an entire ocean everytime he glanced into them. Killua’s pretty, pale body lay underneath him temptingly. His chest was exposed perfectly and it was a breathtaking view. Soft, pink lips practically begged for attention. 

But Illumi couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Illumi moved off his little brother, cheeks only slightly warm as he sat Killua on his soft bed. Killua sat up from his lying position, looking over his brother with drunken eyes.

“Did you miss me, Aniki?” Killua looked up at Illumi with a specific gleam in his eyes, voice lowered in a pretty whisper. 

“Of course I did.” He mumbled the words. It was no secret how much Illumi missed his little brother, but speaking to Killua when he was like this just seemed pointless. Would he even remember a single thing by morning?

“I missed you too, y’know…” Killua scooted closer to Illumi, who sat awkwardly beside him. The atmosphere was tense now, and suddenly the room was entirely too warm.

“D’you remember the old times?” Killua recounted, voice still slipping from his lips like the drunkened boy he was. Illumi hummed at this. Of course he remembered the old times. When Killua would visit his bedroom at night, and the two brothers would cuddle oh-so-innocently. When forehead kisses and hand-holding was a normal occurrence between the two. 

Hours and hours of training, when the trickles of sweat started to drench Illumi’s clothes. When his body was so sore he wasn’t sure if his limbs were going to fall off or not. After long jobs when he couldn’t tell whether the blood splattered across his body was his or the target’s. After enduring the physical and emotional torture his parents would train him with. Illumi’s precious Killu was always there. Messy, fluffy hair that illuminated a bright silver that could be spotted from miles away. Pale skin that was so easily bruised and so often shaded pink. A small, frail body that fit perfectly in the curve of Illumi’s body. For the longest time, the heat of Killua’s petite body against his was the only thing that kept Illumi going.

Just what had happened to them?

Killua scooted closer. Hot breath against the frame of Illumi’s ear, Killua leaned in and placed a frail hand on the middle of the long-haired assassin’s thigh. Illumi’s breath shuddered as Killua’s hand continued to roam closer and closer to his crotch. The silver-haired boy placed two legs on either side of Illumi’s thick thigh and grinned. The elder male watched in curiosity.

“Aniki…. I.. m’ssed you…” His voice was soft and whiny and Illumi wanted so badly for his little brother to just stop speaking. To stop talking at all. He couldn’t do this to him. He wouldn’t be able to control himself. To stop himself if anything happened to start.

Killua’s eyes were big and inviting as he sat atop Illumi’s built thigh. The heat that emitted from his own crotch warmed the skin beneath him, and Illumi couldn’t help the hairs from standing at the back of his neck. Illumi could feel a growing bulge atop his thigh, and it took everything in him to not pick Killua up and throw himself on top of him.

“This…. is what yew’ve… always want..ed” Killua struggled to speak properly, but Illumi didn’t notice. “I…. really like you.. aniki…” He giggled the words out. The assassin bit his lip.

He was right. Illumi so desperately wanted his brother. Wanted to kiss him and hold him like there was nobody else in the world but them. But he simply couldn’t. Not like this.

“You’re drunk, Killu.” He said, placing two hands on each of Killua’s ribs. The boy gasped at this, arching his back and closing his eyes. He landed his hands atop Illumi’s.

“Please…. k-keep yer hand..s there….’niki.” He shuddered, beginning to grind his crotch into his big brother’s thigh. Illumi’s eyes widened at this, and he stiffened. He wanted to stop him, he really did. But when Killua looked like that? Pretty face flushed with pink, eyes glinting with an intent for one thing and one thing only: pleasure. His mouth hung open as he started to get off from the friction between his little shorts and Illumi’s leg, and god did Illumi feel himself grow.

“Ah….. aniki….” Killua started to whimper now, and he ground deeper and deeper and Illumi could feel the boy’s clothed fully hardened member start to twitch. This was wrong. Illumi knew this was wrong.

“Killu…” He breathed. “G-get off…” He placed a frail hand on Killua’s chest in protest, but it was of no use. He knew it was of no use. He knew, deep down, that he didn’t want Killua to stop. He liked hearing the sinful whimpers that escaped the little pink lips of his brother. He adored the heat on his thigh and he loved the way Killua’s eyes were closed. The grinding was slow, drawn out, and savored. Killua was having a good time, that much was obvious. However, he needed much more to satisfy his needs.

Killua looked at Illumi with nothing but lust in his big, catlike eyes. The elder brother watched as the young Zoldyck moved his way atop his lap, sitting himself so that his crotch was on Illumi’s. Clothed dick on clothed dick. Illumi shuddered at the position, and he placed two hands on Killua’s shoulders.

“N-no… Killu, get off.” He said it weakly. It was simply too good. Killua was too good. He was too pretty. Too irresistible. Who was he to reject such an ethereal creature’s touch?

Killua threw his hands over Illumi’s neck, locking eyes with his brother as he began to hump his crotch against the elder male’s dick. Illumi’s breath shuddered, and the room felt entirely too warm. He wasn’t sure where to put his hands. In fact, he wasn’t sure of anything.

“S-stop… Killu….stop.” He breathed the words, breath shuddering and cheeks flushed as Killua refused to break eye contact. The friction was almost heavenly. No, scratch that— it was almost godly. The weight of Killua’s small body atop him, propped up against him and making movements that could make any man go crazy with lust. How was he supposed to say no to this? How could anyone resist such a feeling? Such a being?

“Enough… get off me, Killu...” He had wanted this. He had wanted this for so long. Having not seen his most beloved brother in almost a year… it was only natural that illumi began to grow tireless. To grow weary. So severely touch starved— so severely alone. No small body to comfort him. No precious little Killu to cuddle him and hold his hand and tell him everything would be okay.

Illumi couldn’t help but notice the way that Killua’s little shorts rode up his thighs everytime he swayed his hips back and forth. He couldn’t help but want to lick and kiss all up those sweet, milky thighs.

Illumi couldn’t help the breaths that escaped from his lips. The helpless shuddering that Killua had provoked from him. Sweet whimpers escaped from Killua’s lips as he continued to hump and grind in the darkness of his old, childhood bedroom. The pale moonlight bled into the room— lighting a mere sliver where Killua and Illumi’s bodies curved harmoniously into one another. Illumi couldn’t help himself from grinding back. From digging his fingers into the warm skin of his brothers’ chest. From closing his eyes in shame.

Killua let his voice slip out in pleasure as he came in his shorts.

“A-anaki…” He panted, breath shaking. His face was pink and he buried it into his beloved brother’s neck. His breath was hot and heavy against his skin, only adding to his everlasting hard-on. Killua’s ass sitting on top of it wasn’t helping either, of course.

Illumi placed his hand atop Killua’s head, feeling the soft fluff beneath his fingers. He ran a hand through the strands, pulling Killua closer to his chest and bringing him into a hug. 

“I love you, aniki.” Killua was drunk and horny, but nonetheless, the words caused Illumi’s breath to hitch. He didn’t mean it. Surely he didn’t. He was drunk. He was out of it. He would never say such a thing and mean it.

Illumi gently lifted Killua’s face from his chest and looked him in the eyes. The boy was desperately pretty, and Illumi tried so hard not to just give in and devour the young heir. He tried so hard not to kiss the little boy’s soft lips like he’d never kissed before.

Illumi leaned in and kissed his little brother’s forehead gently. Killua smiled softly at this, and wrapped his arms around Illumi’s body, pulling him into a hug.

“I love you, aniki.” He repeated. 

Drunken words that flooded the room and stung Illumi’s heart. Drunken words that Illumi would never hear come from Killua’s sober mouth. Drunken words that meant the world to him. Drunken words that he so desperately wished were true in the real world. Drunken words that could simply never be.

Illumi didn’t know what love was. How could he? But whatever he felt for Killua wasn’t nothing. It was something. Something more. Something he hadn’t felt for anyone else in his god awful, lonely life. It was a growing pain in his heart— a weed growing so rapidly that he had to compress it. To keep cutting it down so that it wouldn’t grow and spread. He couldn’t nurture these feelings. They were wrong. They were weakness. They were shame.

“I love you so much, Killu.” Illumi said it with so much pain in his voice. He said it with a meaning  
behind it that Killua could never begin to understand.

Illumi slipped out from under his brother and continued to prepare the hiccuping mess for bed. He managed to get him to lie down, and tucked a blanket over his drunken body. Illumi placed a sweet kiss on his brother’s forehead and grabbed the meal tray from the bedside table, shut off the lights, and made his way out. He stopped outside the bedroom door after shutting it quietly, thinking over the bittersweet moment that had just taken place.

Whatever this thing was between them — whether it was a fling or an act of brotherly love or simply just a hormonal teen who was drunk and horny— it was something deeply twisted. Something vile. A taboo love between two brothers. 

A sick romance.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! i hope you enjoyed this. if you did, be sure to leave a comment letting me know what you think !! i was thinking of maybe making this into a chaptered fic if enough ppl like it , but idk haha
> 
> scream at me on twitter: gothciei


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